We have been running at break neck speed since we returned from our scouting trip to Albania at the end of April. When we arrived back on July 1st, we were still running on adrenaline, and we had the AC installed within a few days of our arrival. It was the only item we deemed an immediate necessity. We’ve worked on a few other things to make our living space more amenable to us.

(The great thing about buying a furnished place is that you can move right in. The bad thing about buying a furnished place is that it’s more work to make it your own.)

Now the adrenaline has worn off and I am tired. I had a 4 hour nap yesterday.

The Emotions

I’m not sure I can adequately describe it. I don’t have any one overarching feeling. But I have a lot of conflicting emotions vying for attention. So, in no particular order:

Elation: We were driving to Tirana, about an hour away from where we live, to do some shopping for household items. I had a headache. Then I noticed the gorgeous mountains in the distance and thought: “Fuck! I’m in Albania!” The sense of elation was incredible. (I apologize for the profanity.)

Wistful: I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss our life in North Carolina. We had a nice place, good neighbors, and a wonderful sense of familiarity from having been there for several years.

Sad: I’m sad about all of the evil things America has become. (Or maybe it was always there. But the ugliness arose when the oligarchs squeezed the middle class.)

Relaxed: You know it’s really nice to not have to worry about being the random target of some crazed man (or teenager) with a gun.

Hopeful: I am looking forward to learning a new language, a new culture, a new history.

Overstimulated: I’m not sure that’s an emotion, nonetheless, despite being elated to be here it’s a lot to process.

Content: Even though there are still a number of things to do to set up our life here, I am content. This more minimal lifestyle suits me.

I’m hopeful that as we get more settled my emotions will settle as well. I am never going to be happy about what’s going in America, but maybe I can accept it…. (Probably not.)